So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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