I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
