false alarm. still invincible.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
