I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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