Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
