JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
