So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
