Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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