This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
