Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
