Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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