am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
