i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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