i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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