you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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