Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
