forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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