Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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