i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
