craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
