just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
