I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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