We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize