I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
