New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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