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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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