So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
