the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
