That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize