I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
