Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't deserve a penis
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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