yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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