I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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