I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
