goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
