there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
