you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
