Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize