And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
