Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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