Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
