Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
