im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
