break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
