RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
