You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
