I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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