that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
