if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
