At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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