Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
