You just made me feel so damn special
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
