you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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