he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize