never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
