Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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