I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My ATM looks so different sober.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
