one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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