these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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