I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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