FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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