Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
