Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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