Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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