Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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